Have you ever wondered how comic artists manage to conceive of some of the bizarre and outrageous poses of their characters?  That leering expression or striding hero figure, that posturing or fawning servant, for instance?  Well, Glenn Fabry, a comic artist of no small talent has given us the privilege of a glimpse into his world by showing us the photos he took of himself for some of his work, which flip over to the final artwork when you put your cursor on the photo.  Go and have a look.  It’s really a fun way to look at how an artist works.  Then come back here and tell us what you thought of it.  You just need to click here to go to the right page on Glenn Fabry’s website.

Back in the early days of the super-group Genesis there was the advent of their first live album (ingeniously titled ‘Genesis Live’).  On the back cover of the large vinyl sleeve of ‘Genesis Live’ was a story written by Peter Gabriel, the band’s original singer, which was not reproduced on the subsequent CD releases (no doubt due to the tiny format of a CD cover).  Anyway, for all those impoverished owners of the Genesis Live CD here is that story in all its glory -

4:30 p.m. The tube train draws to a halt. There is no station in sight. Anxious glances dart around amongst the passengers as they acknowledge each other’s presence for the first time.

At the end of the train, a young lady in a green trouser suit stands up in the centre of the carriage and proceeds to unbutton her jacket, which she removes and drops to the dirty wooden floor. She also takes off her shoes, her trousers, her blouse, her brassiere, her tights and her floral panties, dropping them all in a neat pile. This leaves her totally naked.

She then moves her hands across her thighs and begins to fiddle around in between her legs. Eventually, she catches hold of something cold and metallic and very slowly, she starts to unzip her body; working in a straight line up the stomach, between the breasts, up the neck, taking it right on through the centre of her face to her forehead. Her fingers probe up and down the resulting slit finally coming to rest on either side of her navel. She pauses for a moment, before meticulously working her flesh apart. Slipping her right hand into the open gash, she pushes up through her throat, latching on to some buried solid at the top of her spine. With tremendous effort, she loosens and pulls out a thin, shimmering, golden rod. Her fingers release their grip and her crumbled body, neatly sliced, slithers down the liquid surface of the rod to the floor.

SPLAT!

The rod remains hovering just off the ground, a flagpole without flag.
The other passengers have been totally silent, but at the sound of the body dropping on the floor a large middle-aged lady wearing a pink dress and matching poodle stands up and shouts, “STOP THIS, ITS DISGUSTING!”

The golden rod disappeared; the green trouser-suit was left on a hanger with a dry-cleaning ticket pinned to the left arm.  On the ticket was written-

NAME…………………………….
ADDRESS………………………
…………………………………….
…………………………………….
…………………………………….

Some people really have a way with words to point of creating a new art form.  One of these must have been the famous American film director Samuel Goldwyn.  Who said the most extraordinary things, many of which, whilst making perfect sense to him just totally confused those around him (or made them laugh!).  For example there’s the famous phrase, “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on” quoted by thousands of businessmen ever since and “If Roosevelt were alive today, he’d turn over in his grave”.  He also affirmed that,”A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man” and that, “A Hospital is no place to be sick” (where else?). My father is fond of quoting him saying, “Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined” Samuel Goldwyn died in 1974.  I wonder if there were people at his funeral who fulfilled another of his famous phrases,”The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.”

He loathed the advent of television and as regards colour television he famously said, “Color television! Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white”. He also made the comment, “Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?” where today the TV may not have changed much but many of the films are truly awesome!  Perhaps, the film-makers today put more work into grooming their stars for success.  As Samuel Goldwyn put it, “Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.“   He was intolerant of fawning staff around him proclaiming,”I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.” He also said he was willing to admit that he might not always be right, but he was never wrong!

His phrase, “If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive” may have been in 1974 or maybe not.  Well, wherever he is now he must be working on his autobiography since he firmly believed this to be the time to write one as shown in his famous quotation, “I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” Since that would preclude being paid any royalties I think most of us would reply with another of his well-known quips and say, “Include me out.”