Archive for the General News and Information Category
I recently had the misfortune to have to drive into Wigan. Anyone who drives through or around the centre of Wigan will immediately know why I say “misfortune”. The one-way system in Wigan is so bad it is conceivably possible to wear your tyres out before you find your way out again. The daft twists and turns all over the place down single-lane one-way minor roads means that it inevitably gets congested at almost any time of day at some point or other. In fact, there are probably a few people who’ve been going round and round in there for weeks without getting out. I did notice a few motorists with long beards …. clearly, this bizarre road system could not have been developed by any human mind. No matter how off-the-wall, twisted and misanthropic the relevant civil servant(s) might be this piece of planning is well beyond the scope of their fevered brain-cells. Mulder would certainly conclude it to be the work of aliens. No doubt “Wigan in Rush Hour” is a top rating sit-com in the Betelgeuse nebula with Mommy, Daddy and offsring waving their tentacles in delight at the mad antics of the strange human creatures going round and round in their little tin boxes. Hoots of gurgling laughter and Daddy alien falls backwards over the green sponge sofa as the earthlings in coloured boxes grind to a halt in front of another red light, then all go again, stop again, go again etc etc. Their imaginations are staggered by the fact that this happens EVERY DAY and they don’t do anything to change it! Of course, they are unaware that it is their close neighbours the Spoogels who actually designed this crazy road system. Spoogels have large strangely curling purple tubes rather than hair and this gave them the general plan for the Wigan road system. Of course, nowadays the original designers Kloondyk and Mogglitchn live of their royalties from the media shows and occasional after-slurping speeches (Spoogels only consume liquids).
The most disconcerting thing about all of this is that since Kloondyk and Mogglitchn have more or less retired, living as they do on their own private planet with their luxury Khiggits (that’s a kind of yacht) and the relevant council departments have not changed this crazy road system in all these years we can only come to the conclusion that the creatures we believe to be civil servants in our local authorities are in fact Spoogels. This of course does, in fact, explain quite a lot about Local Government in general and we can only wonder at how widespread this infiltration is. It might interest you to know that when a Spoogel smiles its mouth goes into a funny rectangular shape rather like a letterbox … which does rather bring to mind a certain wife of a certain member of parliament.
It is very simple - just go to our ecommerce website here . Click the appropriate option into your shopping cart and you have bought a space in the gallery for a whole year! You go to the checkout and pay by credit or debit card. You then have two weeks to send us a jpg of your painting before your year starts. If you don’t have access to digital technology you can send us a high quality photograph that we will digitally photograph for you at no extra charge. Make sure you tell us as much as possible about the original work to help us sell it for you - materials used including the board or canvas, your inspiration for it and whether it has been published or won prizes etc as well as about yourself. You decide the price for it (remember to include your cost of delivering it to us when it sells and we charge a handling fee of 6% of the sale price for each sale). You can email your jpeg(s) & additional info to us (we only need a small jpg image that shows at around 4″ x 5″ on screen). We only display a small jpg so your copyright is better protected.
So; what are you waiting for? Your art can now be on sale to the whole world for a few pennies a day! Or even less if you exhibit more than one piece! See here for details.
Well, so far, at Artists UK we have been pleased with 2008. Not only have we had lots of orders from all you wonderful people visiting our sites but we’ve also been finding lots more rare items that we thought long since gone forever. Since we are know for having such unavailable collectibles these little finds boosts our feeling of raison d’etre into the stratosphere 
But don’t worry we always come down eventually from the initial joy and surprise to actually getting the stuff onto the website so that you lovely people (see above) can come along and snaffle it up. We always hope these items go to good homes, rather like the RSPCA shelters finding homes for cute little poozikats and doggies. If you’re not sure whether you would be a good home then that’s easily sorted as there are several fact sheets on this website for looking after prints and posters. Anyway, enough rambling as there is much to do on www.artistsuk.co.uk and DotNet may not be seeing so much action for a week or so though we’ll always do our best to reply to comments left here.
The BBC are looking for buyers who will appear on the programme. In case you don’t know, the programme is based around a family selling off items to raise money and it supports a charity. The items are sold on the programme and buyers come and pick up the items and hand over the payment for it. So;if you are interested in buying a framed Alan Lee Limited Edition and getting your fizzog on the box at the same time you can give Molly a ring on the number below … but you’ll need to move quick coz it’s Saturday week! Here are the details:-
Original framed signed Alan Lee print of the Sword in Stone for sale as part of BBC One TV show. For purposes of filming we need whoever buys the print to appear on camera and pick it up in Sanderstead, Surrey on Saturday 19th Jan. Anyone interested can contact Molly at Reef TV on 020 7836 8595. We’re looking for around £70 for the framed print but all offers welcome.
That’s right, at Artists UK DotNet we just invented a new word! The rather longer definition is, “We’ve been so rushed off our feet running www.artistsuk.co.uk that our poor old blog on www.artistsuk.net hasn’t had a look-in for a few days.” In future when we don’t write anything for awhile you’ll know we are on a Blogbreak. Who knows, maybe it’ll be in the dictionary one day. Bet they don’t credit us with inventing it though!
+++ WOW! +++ Classic Roger Dean posters can be found by clicking this one!