I just came across this news report :

Ozzy regrets Osbournes TV series

It talks about how the original Black Sabbath singer doesn’t really like doing television and how he was out in Beverley Hills and could feel people’s eyes on him.  Unbelievably, given the title of Black Sabbath’s arguably most famous song, he said, “I thought I was getting paranoid or something.” 

The Artists UK Krazy Summer Sale is finally drawing to a close with only a few days left.  It has been more succesful than ever this year with many of our old customers snapping up the bargains so if you haven’t had a look yet then it might be an idea before it goes ‘pop’ and disappears like a magic trick !  You’ll notice that Artists UK Krazy Summer Sale is hyperlinked so all you need do is click it to go straight there.  Happy hunting!

Council workers in Swansea have put up a road sign in Welsh that is meant to inform heavy goods vehicles that they can’t enter the residential site.  Unfortunately, what the sign actually says is “I am out of the office at the moment” because that’s the reply they got when they emailed their internal language department asking for a translation into Welsh of “No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only.” Beware the dangers of auto-reply!  

Suffering from post-holiday blues?  Feeling let down after all the boozing and partying?  You might like to make a few cookies.  My folks received this special recipe from friends in the USA…..

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
4 large eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup nuts
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Cooking Instructions:

Sample the Cuervo to check the quality as this is extremely important.
Take a large bowl.
Check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality.  Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.  At this point it’s a god idea to make sure the Cuervo is still OK so try another  cup . . . just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the friggin fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.  Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one tea table. Add a spool of sugar, or  somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.  Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the oven in the dishwasher.

But if you feel the need to repeat the above every day then you need help