Suffering from post-holiday blues?  Feeling let down after all the boozing and partying?  You might like to make a few cookies.  My folks received this special recipe from friends in the USA…..

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
4 large eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup nuts
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Cooking Instructions:

Sample the Cuervo to check the quality as this is extremely important.
Take a large bowl.
Check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality.  Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.  At this point it’s a god idea to make sure the Cuervo is still OK so try another  cup . . . just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the friggin fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.  Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one tea table. Add a spool of sugar, or  somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.  Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the oven in the dishwasher.

But if you feel the need to repeat the above every day then you need help