The Art of Water

“Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink!”

No matter where you live in the world the tap water is somewhere on a scale of foul to undrinkable. The tap water where we live in the north of England seems to have been distilled from the perspirations of a camel’s gonads on a particularly hot day and then disguised with chlorine and flouride. For this reason we decided that before we start growing humps and getting ill-tempered we’d have a look around for some decent water to drink and make tea and coffee with. Carting bottled water from the supermarket soon made us realise that although a transformation to camelhood was less likely the lengthening of our arms from carrying all these heavy bottles might well get us access to the gorilla compound at London Zoo instead. As soon as we saw the danger signs of overbuying of peanuts and a desire to drink PG Tips instead of decent tea we decided enough was enough.

Searching the web we came across a company appropriately called Detox who sell a range of water purifiers. We’d found one we liked the look of but had a number of questions to be sure it was the right one for us. It wasn’t. I phoned up and a very friendly and professional guy called Simon explained the benefits of another system that he personally decided to switch to himself that you can see here. At £249 it is way below the normal retail price. The fitting is more of a DIY job than a plumbing job but even if you have a plumber it shouldn’t cost more than £80 to get it done unless you live in a small kennel on the top of a castle turret (in which case a large funnel and a barrel may do the trick until the acid rain gets to the point it eats through the funnel). The filters need changing once year (one of them) or twice a year (four of them) and this ends up at about £80 per annum. Sounds a lot but for around £1.55 a week you get almost absolutely pure water, far purer than any mineral water you can buy. Ask nicely and they’ll send you a free TDS meter so you can see for yourself how the tap water has a 200 – 400 total dissolved solids reading and your new little drinking water tap is coming in at between 8 and 20! How’s that! :-) The tea tastes like real tea and not like you’ve made it with water from the local swimming pool. Coffee has a real aroma to it that is no longer flouride flavoured columbian. Apparently, if you break open the filter cartridges at the end of their life you can see what you used to be drinking … yuck! I think I might pass on that offer! So; just in case anyone was starting to feel that all I do is slag things off here and have a moan, let’s award full marks to the people at Detox!

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