Tag Archive for "satnav"

Over the years most of our suppliers have been professional and reliable but every now and again we get one like TNT.  Years ago we stopped using Business Post because of the really bad service and now TNT are out.  Why? They just don’t get round to collecting like every other courier does.  Our inland courier APC is often here within 20 minutes of a request for a collection.  Before Christmas a TNT driver phoned at 4pm saying “I’m so busy, please can I pick up first thing tomorrow morning?” We said okay but next morning came and went and nobody came from TNT.  Late in the day another TNT driver came and informed us that the first one had been sacked!  Now we thought okay it can happen, just a one-off … but yesterday again, no show, no phone call, no nothing.  The reply from TNT as to why the collection had failed was … and you won’t believe this in this day and age of satnavs etc … “the TNT driver had trouble finding the address” !  Now if that was one of our artists living way out in the middle of the moors I could understand it maybe but even then not really.  Now, if you can’t rely on TNT to collect how can you rely on them to deliver?  No, you can’t, so we’ll use someone else in future thanks, not TNT.

How many sheep?

Three shepherds were tending their large flock just as in ancient times when up drives a large Porsche and out steps a man in a smart suit with a laptop.  He wanders over nonchalantly to the three shepherds and says,

“If I can tell you precisely how many sheep you have would you let me have one? If I fail you can have my laptop.”

The three shepherds look at each other (probably wondering what use a laptop might be to them) and reply, “OK yor on!”

The man in the suit squats down on the grass, flips open his laptop, clicks up his satnav system and programmes it to find sheep.  Three minutes later he tells them they have precisely 3,752 sheep.  They agree that is exactly how many sheep they have and he picks up his prize and walks off towards his Porsche.

One of the shepherds hurries after him asking him to wait.  “If I can tell you exactly what your profession is,” he says,”can I have my animal back?  If I fail you get another one.”

“Okay,” says the man in the suit.

“You are a business consultant!” exclaims the shepherd confidently.

“You are right,” says the man,”but how did you know that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd,”you come here when nobody has invited you, you tell us what we already know and then want paying for doing it.  You have no idea at all what we actually do here and … well, I’d like my sheepdog back please …”  :-)

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